This birthday (and Christmas) have been a little bittersweet for me. When I'm trying to keep my head free of the usual hectic-ness that goes along with the holidays, I'm finding this thought in my head - "This may be the last Christmas we're all together - this may be the last birthday he's home for." I'm not being morbid here at all, just noting the fact that God only knows where he will be spending Christmas and his birthday next year. I, of course, want him home each and every Christmas and birthday - but since he's growing up and becoming a man, I'm not always going to get my way. I'm sure I'll get used to it after while (a few years?), but until then, I'll have to send silly little things his way letting him know that even though he's not home, I'm still thinking of him and he's still here in my heart.
Tomorrow he heads to the recruiter's office to fill out some more paperwork. On January 3rd, he will get his official leave date - it'll be either January 11 or 18.
He's excited and I'm excited for him. He's been making good choices, showing me he's growing up, and that maybe (just maybe) I did right by him. He's my only boy, so I do believe I've babied him a bit more than if I had had more than one. So precious is he in my eyes - something that he maybe doesn't understand or realize. So yes, excited and proud of him, I am. But oh, how I will miss him not being here.
I heard someone once say, "We teach our girls and love our boys". This I find true since I have taught my daughter to be strong and independent, yet, my son, I seem to baby and cling to more. This is evident in their behaviors. Wrong or right, it is what it is.
He's on to bigger and better - making adult choices - heading into that next chapter of this amazingly beautiful and crazy thing we call life. I hope and pray he realizes that I truly believe in him and his decisions and stand by what I've said so many times recently that he can be and do whatever he wants and dreams - so always do your best and always believe in yourself.
Until next time....
