Oh, how I love "connecting". Tim and I spent a month or so having "connect time" where it was just me and him and we went for some mexican and would catch up. We did this once a week, usually on a Sunday, and it was Mom and Tim Time. I loved it, but it was during an emotional roller coaster time and after a while, it waned.
We had awesome "connect time" the week or so before he left. I may have said this in a previous blog post, but one morning we were sitting at Bob Evans having breakfast, and I told him that my plan had almost backfired. Meaning, I was spending all of this time during the day with him; we would have coffee and talk, I'd watch him play Xbox, etc., but boy was I getting used to being around him. I loved it so much and I felt that it did a flip flop on me and was going to make me miss him even that much more when he left! When I told him that, he smiled at me from across the table and did his little laugh and said, "I know, cause we've been spending so much time together". So, he got it and understood - good.
I absolutely loved Thursday evening! I received "the letter" from him in the mail. Oh, that "connection" of just seeing his handwriting! It made me feel relieved. It made me feel peaceful. And after I read all that it contained, it made me feel relaxed. Thursday night I slept better than I had in months.
Enclosed in this letter was three things: the brochure from the MCRD for graduation and travel, the printed letter from Tim's SDI (Senior Drill Instructor), and the "letter" from Tim. It kind of makes me laugh a little because it's literally a form type of letter starting out with Dear ________, where he wrote "mom" and then he signed it below and added a PS.
I can't tell you how many times I've looked at this letter, looked at his writing, and just LOOKED at it. Is that weird?? You, the reader, may think it is or not, either way, it makes no difference to me. I finally have that connection with my boy and I ended up not having to wait as long as I had thought. :)
I love how it says: I am fine and in good health; it lists things he cannot receive while there; and how it says to not send money - that he'll be making enough money to cover all his expenses; that he apologizes for the shortness of the letter, but he promises to write more later (all pre-printed ). And then, as I said, his signature and PS.
And I must say that when I read the letter from the SDI, I felt GOOD. I felt that this person has my son's best interest at heart. That he and the other DIs will be pushing him to be better and achieve things that Tim probably would never be able to do on his own - let's face it - without being MADE to do it; without being EXPECTED to do it. It's completely different when it's mom telling you to do something or your DI "telling" you to do something!
He's going to be halfway through his first phase in the next couple of days - the lonliest and most frustrating part of Boot - and once he's through that, I think (hope) that he'll just excel. Oh, how I would love (?) to be a fly on the wall in his barracks. But, moreso, I wish I could be next to him, just for a seond and whisper in his ear - "You got this, Tim. I know you can do it and so does everyone else."
He and my brother think that I worry about Tim too much. So, given that statement - maybe Tim's enjoying life right now; thinking this is great; already excelling in all that he's doing. Possibly so - I hope he feels his own "connections" with his new lifelong buddies and they are helping each other get through this new chapter in each of their lives.
THAT'S the way I want it to be for him.......I guess we will soon find out......
Until next time....
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
First Week Almost Done
It seems like life is full of count downs. We count down to birthdays, vacations, end of school semesters. Like we don't really live in the moment (or maybe we do), but regardless, we're always looking forward to something in the future.
Tim is a huge "counter-downer". Always has been - always will be. I doubt highly even the Marines can take that out of him. Shoot, lots of times, he would turn me into a "counter-downer" too. I would always tease him because he'd come up to me and just say - "Hey Mom! 29 days!" And I'd look at him quizically, thinking quickly in my head - "What the heck is coming up that he's counting down too?" Sometimes it would be easy, like his birthday. Other times, it would be more difficult and random, like days til he put in his two week notice at Kelly's Butcher Shop...LOL. It does crack me up and like I said, I tease him about it sometimes and just say "You are such a "counter-downer". That's so funny. You make me laugh."
So, I'm sure he's already begun doing this. Like 101% sure. Life changed for him pretty drastically last week. He's been "best friends" with his DI for probably 48 hours or so now - lol. (**And as a side note: I have to laugh and not dwell on these types of things, or my mind just starts wandering.....) But this Monday, according to the Training Matrix, he'll be issued his M-16. His NEW girlfriend that he'll have to keep immaculate and pretty much be attached to the hip with. My point? He's probably counting down to that - at least in his head.
And, as you can see, I too have caught on to the fine art of counting down. I filled out most of my house calendar with his activities (so it wouldn't be only me that would be able to partake...). And I woke up this morning thinking about Tim and that his first week is almost over - 12 weeks to go! ☺ Hmmm, does he get that from me? Maybe I was a "supressive counter-downer" never letting it show until now....lol
Surprisingly, this week has been easier than I had expected. I had my "down time", but I had it, then had to let it go and get on with my day. Am I always going to be able to do that? Gee, that would be nice, and I'd really love that, however, I am human, so think that those bad times will hang around a little longer some days.
Oh, it does so help that the sun has been shining the last few days. I'm definitely a sunshine kinda gal - and too much gloom does affect my mood (sorry). But I have been keeping really busy - and that's what I lend my decent mood and lack of depression to. If I'm not on a Marine website, learning about what Tim's doing, I'm watching videos SEEING what Tim's doing. Or I'm trying to connect on Facebook with old friends, new friends, think of how I can be a better person and part of this world.
Like the other day, I donated $10 to Cup of Joe for a Joe "hosted" by Green Beans ( http://www.greenbeanscoffee.com/coj/ ). Since, I'm currently unemployed and have to watch my pennies quite a bit more, I'm not heading out for coffee much and I'm making it at home. SOOO, with the money I've been saving, I figured I could donate $10 - which would get me less than 3 Grande Caramel Machiatto's from Starbuck's - and give 5, yes 5, cups of coffee to 5 troops overseas. Maybe that's not much to you, but it might make their morning or day and put a smile on their faces. And that makes me happy. Makes me feel like I'm doing something good. It keeps me motivated and keeps my head (and my mood) on straight.
I'm also diving head on into my home business. I've slacked terribly and feel that this is the time to get moving with that again. And why not? My products ALSO make people smile and feel good - and that makes me happy! ☺ Not to mention, will help me get out to San Diego and wherever else I may need to travel to get to visit Tim. (**Second side note: I've learned as far as "jobs" go, you sure can't count on a company to take care of you; can't put all your eggs in one basket. I've learned that.) So, I'm jumping back into it with both feet and I have to tell you that it feels so good!
So, as Tim begins his second week of Boot Camp (in 2 days - ha!), I will be counting down right along with him. Care to join me? Ha!
Until next time...
Tim is a huge "counter-downer". Always has been - always will be. I doubt highly even the Marines can take that out of him. Shoot, lots of times, he would turn me into a "counter-downer" too. I would always tease him because he'd come up to me and just say - "Hey Mom! 29 days!" And I'd look at him quizically, thinking quickly in my head - "What the heck is coming up that he's counting down too?" Sometimes it would be easy, like his birthday. Other times, it would be more difficult and random, like days til he put in his two week notice at Kelly's Butcher Shop...LOL. It does crack me up and like I said, I tease him about it sometimes and just say "You are such a "counter-downer". That's so funny. You make me laugh."
So, I'm sure he's already begun doing this. Like 101% sure. Life changed for him pretty drastically last week. He's been "best friends" with his DI for probably 48 hours or so now - lol. (**And as a side note: I have to laugh and not dwell on these types of things, or my mind just starts wandering.....) But this Monday, according to the Training Matrix, he'll be issued his M-16. His NEW girlfriend that he'll have to keep immaculate and pretty much be attached to the hip with. My point? He's probably counting down to that - at least in his head.
And, as you can see, I too have caught on to the fine art of counting down. I filled out most of my house calendar with his activities (so it wouldn't be only me that would be able to partake...). And I woke up this morning thinking about Tim and that his first week is almost over - 12 weeks to go! ☺ Hmmm, does he get that from me? Maybe I was a "supressive counter-downer" never letting it show until now....lol
Surprisingly, this week has been easier than I had expected. I had my "down time", but I had it, then had to let it go and get on with my day. Am I always going to be able to do that? Gee, that would be nice, and I'd really love that, however, I am human, so think that those bad times will hang around a little longer some days.
Oh, it does so help that the sun has been shining the last few days. I'm definitely a sunshine kinda gal - and too much gloom does affect my mood (sorry). But I have been keeping really busy - and that's what I lend my decent mood and lack of depression to. If I'm not on a Marine website, learning about what Tim's doing, I'm watching videos SEEING what Tim's doing. Or I'm trying to connect on Facebook with old friends, new friends, think of how I can be a better person and part of this world.
Like the other day, I donated $10 to Cup of Joe for a Joe "hosted" by Green Beans ( http://www.greenbeanscoffee.com/coj/ ). Since, I'm currently unemployed and have to watch my pennies quite a bit more, I'm not heading out for coffee much and I'm making it at home. SOOO, with the money I've been saving, I figured I could donate $10 - which would get me less than 3 Grande Caramel Machiatto's from Starbuck's - and give 5, yes 5, cups of coffee to 5 troops overseas. Maybe that's not much to you, but it might make their morning or day and put a smile on their faces. And that makes me happy. Makes me feel like I'm doing something good. It keeps me motivated and keeps my head (and my mood) on straight.
I'm also diving head on into my home business. I've slacked terribly and feel that this is the time to get moving with that again. And why not? My products ALSO make people smile and feel good - and that makes me happy! ☺ Not to mention, will help me get out to San Diego and wherever else I may need to travel to get to visit Tim. (**Second side note: I've learned as far as "jobs" go, you sure can't count on a company to take care of you; can't put all your eggs in one basket. I've learned that.) So, I'm jumping back into it with both feet and I have to tell you that it feels so good!
So, as Tim begins his second week of Boot Camp (in 2 days - ha!), I will be counting down right along with him. Care to join me? Ha!
Until next time...
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Boot Camp - Day One
I'm calling it Boot Camp - even though it hasn't officially started yet. the first few days they get all their Marine stuff and I believe tomorrow he will meet his wonderful Drill Instructors.
Yesterday, we were able to head to St. Louis MEPS station to watch him (and MANY others) swear in, see him for a short short time, then take a couple pics and say goodbye for 13 weeks. I was fine until I saw his eyes get red (that's what happens before he cries). Then it stopped - he didn't cry. He hugged us and when I hugged him, I kissed his cheek twice and whispered to him "I love you, I'll miss you. Now go be that shining star you were always meant to be." He did a quick "heehee" and smiled at me. Remember, Tim - be that shining star!
He arrived last night in San Diego. I don't know what time, but I received "the call" from him last night about 10:30 pm. Normally my phone is on vibrate, but not yesterday - I had it way turned up because I had no idea what time he would be calling me, letting me know he got there. I stayed up later, feeling a little anxious, then feeling sleep coming on too strong, i turned my phone up one more notch. I did not want to miss it - although, to be honest part of me wanted it to go to voice mail so that I could save it and listen to him over and over when I got lonely! Ha!
So, I answered the phone to shouting in the background. Loud shouts! then all of a sudden, there's my boy, shouting to me as the other boys were to their moms and dads and significant others saying they had arrived safely, that I should be expecting to get an address in about 2-3 weeks, that fhe appreciates my support, he loves me and good bye. Click. Wow! Not quite what I was expecting. I was expecting the call. I was expecting him to be maybe a little loud. I was not expecting the I love you being tossed in there (such a nice addition, USMC!). I did not expect the loud Marine soldier voice. I did not at all expect all the noise in the background. I figured I'd get a call, scripted as I knew it would be with no noise.
After he hung up (and I don't even think he heard me tell him I loved him - I highly doubt that), I laid in bed and wondered what the hell was going through his head at that time, what was he wearing, if he had his glasses yet. How many friends have you made? Did you get any sleep on the plane since you're going to be up for the next couple of days straight?? I sure hope so. Thoughts swirling through my head! I tried to "read" his voice, but of course, when he's barking this script at me, it's a little difficult.
I hope he has a great time and learns everything they are going to teach him and more. I hope that he comes out of it a better person and eventually a better man. I hope he surrounds himself with good people (like I told him to do before he left - you know, when I thought I had control ☺) - people that wil encourage and lift him up and challenge him to be better - and for him to also be able to provide that to his new friends.
So, today is a good day. A day of thankfulness and a day of futures beginning.
Wow, Tim, I am so proud of you. More than I can ever tell you - more than you'll ever believe....
Yesterday, we were able to head to St. Louis MEPS station to watch him (and MANY others) swear in, see him for a short short time, then take a couple pics and say goodbye for 13 weeks. I was fine until I saw his eyes get red (that's what happens before he cries). Then it stopped - he didn't cry. He hugged us and when I hugged him, I kissed his cheek twice and whispered to him "I love you, I'll miss you. Now go be that shining star you were always meant to be." He did a quick "heehee" and smiled at me. Remember, Tim - be that shining star!
He arrived last night in San Diego. I don't know what time, but I received "the call" from him last night about 10:30 pm. Normally my phone is on vibrate, but not yesterday - I had it way turned up because I had no idea what time he would be calling me, letting me know he got there. I stayed up later, feeling a little anxious, then feeling sleep coming on too strong, i turned my phone up one more notch. I did not want to miss it - although, to be honest part of me wanted it to go to voice mail so that I could save it and listen to him over and over when I got lonely! Ha!
So, I answered the phone to shouting in the background. Loud shouts! then all of a sudden, there's my boy, shouting to me as the other boys were to their moms and dads and significant others saying they had arrived safely, that I should be expecting to get an address in about 2-3 weeks, that fhe appreciates my support, he loves me and good bye. Click. Wow! Not quite what I was expecting. I was expecting the call. I was expecting him to be maybe a little loud. I was not expecting the I love you being tossed in there (such a nice addition, USMC!). I did not expect the loud Marine soldier voice. I did not at all expect all the noise in the background. I figured I'd get a call, scripted as I knew it would be with no noise.
After he hung up (and I don't even think he heard me tell him I loved him - I highly doubt that), I laid in bed and wondered what the hell was going through his head at that time, what was he wearing, if he had his glasses yet. How many friends have you made? Did you get any sleep on the plane since you're going to be up for the next couple of days straight?? I sure hope so. Thoughts swirling through my head! I tried to "read" his voice, but of course, when he's barking this script at me, it's a little difficult.
I hope he has a great time and learns everything they are going to teach him and more. I hope that he comes out of it a better person and eventually a better man. I hope he surrounds himself with good people (like I told him to do before he left - you know, when I thought I had control ☺) - people that wil encourage and lift him up and challenge him to be better - and for him to also be able to provide that to his new friends.
So, today is a good day. A day of thankfulness and a day of futures beginning.
Wow, Tim, I am so proud of you. More than I can ever tell you - more than you'll ever believe....
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Mom and Tim Week
Tim was gone all weekend with friends. Last night, I got to see him but not talk to him because he was on the phone all night long. That's fine - I told him before I went to bed that all week during the day will be "Mom and Tim Time" - and he was good with that, good! So, I get him during the day and he can hang with his buddies in the afternoon and evening - a compromise I can live with.
He's heading to the hotel this coming Monday night, staying there all night, then flying to San Diego Tuesday sometime. But Monday won't be the last time I get to see him - it'll be Tuesday morning. We can go over to the MEPS and see him swear in - reaffirming to everyone that he is now definitely governement property - before heading to the airport. So, Monday won't be so bad - it'll probably be Tuesday. But for now, I'm good! I get my time with him that I love.
This morning we had about 5-6 inches of snow when we woke up so there was no school - much to my daughter's dismay (ha!). So, instead of a Mom-Tim Day, it has turned into the three of us - which is really great too. I made egg and cheese sandwiches for them and then broke out the mini donut maker my dad got me for Christmas and made homemade donuts which was fun. Just hanging out in the kitchen - talking to them, but I also really love to listen to them talk. Sometimes when we're in the car or wherever, I just listen to them speak to each other. Sometimes it's good stuff - sometimes, it's not. But it's nice for mom to "be still" and let them have their talk time too.
Before she woke up this morning, Tim and I were sitting at the kitchen table and drinking coffee talking about his excitement and nervousness. It's funny because all of these "plans" he's making (like how he wants his shaving regimen to go) and all these expectations are going to be a total 180 of what's REALLY going to go on! And it makes me smile and I say to him - well, I guess you're going to soon find out! ☺
With all the things and regular life crap that's going to go on this week, the next few days are going to just fly by - FLY BY! Can I do something to just slow it a little? Not stop it - just slow it - like make a day be 48 hours rather than 24? I know, not possible. So, we will just enjoy the time we have and have a good time doing it.
Until next time...
He's heading to the hotel this coming Monday night, staying there all night, then flying to San Diego Tuesday sometime. But Monday won't be the last time I get to see him - it'll be Tuesday morning. We can go over to the MEPS and see him swear in - reaffirming to everyone that he is now definitely governement property - before heading to the airport. So, Monday won't be so bad - it'll probably be Tuesday. But for now, I'm good! I get my time with him that I love.
This morning we had about 5-6 inches of snow when we woke up so there was no school - much to my daughter's dismay (ha!). So, instead of a Mom-Tim Day, it has turned into the three of us - which is really great too. I made egg and cheese sandwiches for them and then broke out the mini donut maker my dad got me for Christmas and made homemade donuts which was fun. Just hanging out in the kitchen - talking to them, but I also really love to listen to them talk. Sometimes when we're in the car or wherever, I just listen to them speak to each other. Sometimes it's good stuff - sometimes, it's not. But it's nice for mom to "be still" and let them have their talk time too.
Before she woke up this morning, Tim and I were sitting at the kitchen table and drinking coffee talking about his excitement and nervousness. It's funny because all of these "plans" he's making (like how he wants his shaving regimen to go) and all these expectations are going to be a total 180 of what's REALLY going to go on! And it makes me smile and I say to him - well, I guess you're going to soon find out! ☺
With all the things and regular life crap that's going to go on this week, the next few days are going to just fly by - FLY BY! Can I do something to just slow it a little? Not stop it - just slow it - like make a day be 48 hours rather than 24? I know, not possible. So, we will just enjoy the time we have and have a good time doing it.
Until next time...
Sunday, January 2, 2011
The Countdown...
until Tim leaves is going through my head now. Now that the Christmas decorations are down and we are getting back into a routine of "regular life", the countdown until Tim leaves is the forefront of my thoughts.
He left tonight to go over to the MEPS station in DT STL. Tomorrow he will fill out remaining paperwork and swear in.
Last week, he redid his ASVAB and scored a 57! Totally thrilled and proud of him for that. I told him quite a few times and also tossed in the "you're so smart" comment a time or two as well.
When he was there last week, he also got a leave date - - January 18. Which means that last time I see him for 13 weeks will be the 17th. He'll leave us and go spend the night at the hotel before heading out to San Diego that next morning.
MOS? Between mechanic and supplier. I'm crossing my fingers for the mechanic position because at least then I know he will be actually LEARNING something.
That has been an issue of mine all along - - hey, go in but LEARN something!! For all of those people that choose an Infantry position, I stand behind you 100%, but isn't it in your best interest to LEARN something while you're in the military?
So, here we are with 15 days left with him in the house. I've been pretty nice about letting him hang out with friends and his girlfriend, BUT it's getting down to the wire and now I need to have more MOM-TIM time. Yes, I realize I may get a little resistance to this (but I don't believe much) and have my case ready to plead. Even having "I gave birth to you and have been with you for 19 years of your life" in my back pocket if I need to toss it out there.
Sigh....
RIGHT NOW, I'm good! I'm happy and excited for him and still think he needs this. I've already thought about words I'll be writing him in his letters - "Are you missing yard work? Wouldn't you love to be raking the leaves or clearing more brush? What about sleeping til 8? Wouldn't you just love to sleep until 8?" LOL. Have to keep a sense of humor in it all! ☺
Tomorrow when he gets back from the MEPS station, we will all know more.
I hope Southwest has some great deals to San Diego when it's time to go!
Until next time...
He left tonight to go over to the MEPS station in DT STL. Tomorrow he will fill out remaining paperwork and swear in.
Last week, he redid his ASVAB and scored a 57! Totally thrilled and proud of him for that. I told him quite a few times and also tossed in the "you're so smart" comment a time or two as well.
When he was there last week, he also got a leave date - - January 18. Which means that last time I see him for 13 weeks will be the 17th. He'll leave us and go spend the night at the hotel before heading out to San Diego that next morning.
MOS? Between mechanic and supplier. I'm crossing my fingers for the mechanic position because at least then I know he will be actually LEARNING something.
That has been an issue of mine all along - - hey, go in but LEARN something!! For all of those people that choose an Infantry position, I stand behind you 100%, but isn't it in your best interest to LEARN something while you're in the military?
So, here we are with 15 days left with him in the house. I've been pretty nice about letting him hang out with friends and his girlfriend, BUT it's getting down to the wire and now I need to have more MOM-TIM time. Yes, I realize I may get a little resistance to this (but I don't believe much) and have my case ready to plead. Even having "I gave birth to you and have been with you for 19 years of your life" in my back pocket if I need to toss it out there.
Sigh....
RIGHT NOW, I'm good! I'm happy and excited for him and still think he needs this. I've already thought about words I'll be writing him in his letters - "Are you missing yard work? Wouldn't you love to be raking the leaves or clearing more brush? What about sleeping til 8? Wouldn't you just love to sleep until 8?" LOL. Have to keep a sense of humor in it all! ☺
Tomorrow when he gets back from the MEPS station, we will all know more.
I hope Southwest has some great deals to San Diego when it's time to go!
Until next time...
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