Connection!

Oh, how I love "connecting".  Tim and I spent a month or so having "connect time" where it was just me and him and we went for some mexican and would catch up.  We did this once a week, usually on a Sunday, and it was Mom and Tim Time.  I loved it, but it was during an emotional roller coaster time and after a while, it waned. 

We had awesome "connect time" the week or so before he left.  I may have said this in a previous blog post, but one morning we were sitting at Bob Evans having breakfast, and I told him that my plan had almost backfired.  Meaning, I was spending all of this time during the day with him; we would have coffee and talk, I'd watch him play Xbox, etc., but boy was I getting used to being around him.  I loved it so much and I felt that it did a flip flop on me and was going to make me miss him even that much more when  he left!  When I told him that, he smiled at me from across the table and did his little laugh and said, "I know, cause we've been spending so much time together".  So, he got it and understood - good.

I absolutely loved Thursday evening!  I received "the letter" from him in the mail.  Oh, that "connection" of just seeing his handwriting!  It made me feel relieved.  It made me feel peaceful.  And after I read all that it contained, it made me feel relaxed.  Thursday night I slept better than I had in months.

Enclosed in this letter was three things:  the brochure from the MCRD for graduation and travel, the printed letter from Tim's SDI (Senior Drill Instructor), and the "letter" from Tim.  It kind of makes me laugh a little because it's literally a form type of letter starting out with Dear ________, where he wrote "mom" and then he signed it below and added a PS.

I can't tell you how many times I've looked at this letter, looked at his writing, and just LOOKED at it.  Is that weird??  You, the reader, may think it is or not, either way, it makes no difference to me.  I finally have that connection with my boy and I ended up not having to wait as long as I had thought. :)

I love how it says: I am fine and in good health; it lists things he cannot receive while there; and how it says to not send money - that he'll be making enough money to cover all his expenses; that he apologizes for the shortness of the letter, but he promises to write more later (all pre-printed ).  And then, as I said, his signature and PS.

And I must say that when I read the letter from the SDI, I felt GOOD.  I felt that this person has my son's best interest at heart.  That he and the other DIs will be pushing him to be better and achieve things that Tim probably would never be able to do on his own - let's face it - without being MADE to do it; without being EXPECTED to do it.  It's completely different when it's mom telling you to do something or your DI "telling" you to do something!

He's going to be halfway through his first phase in the next couple of days - the lonliest and most frustrating part of Boot - and once he's through that, I think (hope) that he'll just excel.  Oh, how I would love (?) to be a fly on the wall in his barracks.  But, moreso, I wish I could be next to him, just for a seond and whisper in his ear - "You got this, Tim.  I know you can do it and so does everyone else."

He and my brother think that I worry about Tim too much.  So, given that statement - maybe Tim's enjoying life right now; thinking this is great; already excelling in all that he's doing.  Possibly so - I hope he feels his own "connections" with his new lifelong buddies and they are helping each other get through this new chapter in each of their lives. 

THAT'S the way I want it to be for him.......I guess we will soon find out......

Until next time....